Seeing Sparks
by Lemon Drop of Doom
Summary: [AU]Hermione’s 7th year at Hogwarts would have been exciting enough with the Second War, NEWTS, and the excitement of turning 17! But add a dash of love with a man she's hated for as long as she's known him, and she’ll find herself seeing sparks! [PRE DH]
1. Back Again

AN: Hello, this is the first chapter in my fic, "Seeing Sparks". There are a few things I need to tell you about! My story takes place in Harry's seventh year. He has decided to postpone his Horcrux search until after he finishes school. The odd part about this is that the story focuses on Hermione, so the things on her mind are not the same as Harry's would have been. On another note, this fic was inspired by the song "Sparks" by Coldplay. I'd also like to remind you to respect my opinions and please, do not send me flames saying that I am disgusting, that Snape and Hermione would never be together… etc, etc! I am writing this because my muses asked me to, and if you don't like it, _that's not my problem!_ Thank you and have a nice day!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter- no matter how hard it is to admit!

Summary: Hermione's 7th year at Hogwarts would have been memorable enough- what with the Second War, NEWTS, and the excitement of coming of age! But add a dash of love with a man you've hated for as long as you've known him, and you'll find yourself seeing sparks.

Chapter 1: Back Again

Have you ever noticed the difference between going somewhere and leaving it? Hermione has noticed in the past seven years that the train ride to school has always seemed shorter than the ride home. But it's all the same really… the same distance, the same amount of time. Just… different expectations.

Hermione's expectations at this point in her life weren't very high. The Second War was raging on and she couldn't help but wonder, 'What on earth is going to happen if we lose?' Hermione is not some silly optimistic girl. She's smart enough to comprehend that the good guys don't always win.

There are two sides of a war, and to the Death Eaters- _we're_ the ones with crooked morals.

"Hermione, you're doing it again." Said Harry, sounding somewhat bored.

She looked up to see him smiling.

"Doing what, exactly?" She asked.

Harry chuckled, and told her, "Staring off into space while we're trying to tell you what we saw McGonagall doing with Filtch! "

"Ew! And I am not staring off into space!" She retorted, blushing slightly.

"Yea you are! Don't deny it!" Ron jeered.

"Oh fine… I've just been thinking…"

"Not again!" Harry and Ron chorused. Hermione smirked then let it fall. She looked them each in the eye.

"I was thinking about the Second War." She told them, causing Harry and Ron's cheerful disposition to drop like a newborn giraffe.

At that moment the compartment door slid open to reveal a slightly nervous looking Neville Longbottom. Alright, let's be honest. He looked terrified.

"Neville, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, she gestured to the seat in front of her and he stared confusedly at it for a while before sitting down.

"Haven't you heard the news?" He asked with slight awe.

"About McGonagall and Filtch? Yeah! I've always known it was coming!" Ron shouted.

"Not that news… that's just plain bizarre... no, the news about Professor Snape!" Neville interjected.

Hermione frowned for a moment, and said, "Professor… but he isn't a professor here anymore… he _killed_ Dumbledore!"

"Yeah but there was a trial and they're letting him teach again!" said Neville, looking horrified yet calmer now that he was in the presence of Harry.

Silence filled the compartment as their thoughts overflowed to a point where nobody needed speech anymore, because they were all thinking about the same thing. But of course, it didn't last long as a tidal wave of Harry's fury swept over them all, threatening to drown them.

"It's disgusting. Repulsive! He _killed_ Dumbledore! The greatest headmaster this school has ever seen- the most powerful wizard of his age- _dead_ at his hands! How dare he show his pallid face here? Does he wish to kill McGonagall too? What the hell makes him think he has the right to teach here whenever he pleases!" Harry struggled to control his magic, as he noticed that the lights were flickering and the compartment door had just turned itself purple.

"Well, my gran said he was given veritasurem for his trial and he said something about Dumbledore telling Snape to kill him earlier… And Dumbledore had already sworn that Snape was spying on the Death Eaters for the Light side… The board had said that they trusted Dumbledore's word and would not lock away Snape because they think he is a Death Eater… It's all too complicated. I'd just like to say that our last year at Hogwarts will suck and leave it at that." Neville gave a small smile, but ruined the effect completely by loosening his tie and letting out a tiny whimper.

Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Neville talked about all things that weren't Snape-related through the rest of the train ride. Hermione contributed to the conversation (which involved the goings on between McGonagall and Filtch) but in the back of Hermione's mind was Snape, and what could have happened to have McGonagall let him teach again.

There he was- alone, at the very end of the head table. He wasn't talking, and nobody was talking to him. He wasn't eating, but he was drinking. Hermione watched him carefully throughout the feast, waiting for some hint or clue to jump out at her, but none came. The only thing she noticed was that he downed an entire bottle of wine before the feast was through. The queerness of Dumbledore's absence was too distracting for her to notice any of his particularly evil characteristics.

Either that or there were none.

Hermione was not the only person staring at Snape. In fact, it was no wonder he watched his plate so intently. She knew she would do the same if all of Hogwarts were watching her every move.

"Don't look at him, Hermione" demanded Ron, interrupting her train of thought. He gently brushed her arm and she turned around to face Harry, who was still attempting to give himself permanent wrinkles.

She smiled weakly at Harry, and told him, "I'm sure there's an excuse as to why he's here. He could have been under the Imperius..."

"So you're on his side now?" Harry accused.

"No, there are no sides. I'm just saying that they wouldn't have him teach here if he killed Dumbledore for no reason."

"There was a reason. He's a Death Eater, that's the reason," said Harry as he shoveled more food on his already overflowing plate.

Hermione sighed and rested her head in her hands. She let her hair fall like a curtain around her face. Now, in the semi-darkness, was where it was easiest for her to think. She shut her eyes and just tried to _think_.

Ron had other ideas though, and rubbed her back as if she were crying.

"I'm fine, Ron. I'm just thinking. You should try it sometime." She said from behind her screen of hair.

"Ah… but that would be sacrificing the one thing that makes me different than you. And no offence, I love you and all, but let's face it- we can't all be like you." Ron said casually, as if he had not just professed his love for Hermione.

"I think I'm going to go up to bed now anyway." Hermione admitted, sitting up.

"But the password- you need the password to get in the com-" Hermione interrupted him with a tap on the HG badge pinned to the front of her robes.

"This doesn't stand for Hermione Granger you know." And she stood up from the table and walked briskly yet calmly from the Great Hall.

Walking the corridors and stairwells up to Gryffindor Tower, it was the first time she _couldn't_ think. Her mind was so blank, that when she arrived before the Fat Lady she stood there, staring at the portrait for a full minute before she remembered the password.

"Pig-pimples" she uttered, then crawled through the portrait hole- not hearing anything but her own breathing.

Exhausted, she climbed the stairs to her dormitory, stumbled through the door, and collapsed on the bed. Hugging her pillow to her as if it were her anchor to the earth, Hermione slept.


	2. Worthlessness

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter- but I do own my rights, which say that you can't sue me, now that I'm posted this disclaimer! So ha!

Chapter 2: Worthlessness 

The sun was so bright, it was blinding. Hermione sat up in bed, blinking repeatedly and wiggling her toes. She checked her clock out of habit, and groaned.

She had woken up an hour late.

Knowing Hermione, we understand that this is a huge deal.

Wide-awake, albeit she had only just awoken, Hermione jumped out of bed and began to search rapidly through her trunk. She pulled out her school robes and hesitated before grabbing her make up bag. (She didn't wear make up any previous year, but she now found it as a necessity.)

Robes, socks, shoes, foundation, compact, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, blush, lip gloss, and a tap on the head with her wand to put her curly mass of hair up in a much less curly ponytail. She grabbed her bag and ran down who knows how many busy corridors and stairways until she reached the Great Hall right as Professor McGonagall was leaving it.

"My schedule," Hermione gasped. Professor McGonagall shook her head as she handed over a folded piece of parchment. Hermione opened it quickly, not noticing when Professor McGonagall left.

"Shit…" Hermione murmured. "DADA… in the dungeons of course." But she didn't have time to curse at her luck much longer, and instead decided to run to her first class in hopes that she could make it on time.

Four floors down later, she could see the door! Hermione glanced at her watch…. She had thirty seconds before she was late- she might make it on time! Hermione put off an extra spurt of energy, and then slowed to a walk right before entering the room with ten seconds to spare. She sat down beside Ron and Harry at the back of the room before-

"Miss Granger… you're late." Snape said from behind her.

Hermione cringed at her lap, but remained silent. Ron however, didn't.

"Actually, Professor, she's on time. I'd suggest that you add 'learn to tell time' on your list of things to do. Put it way up at the top, next to the things your _Master_ tells you to do." He said loudly. Snape turned around to shut the door, then strode up to his desk- robes billowing a little more diminished than Hermione remembered.

Whispers filled his room for the first time in history. "Silence!" He shouted, banging a fist on his desk. But silence was not what he received.

"Of course he'd want us to stop talking and expect it to happen! He's stopped things before hasn't he? He's stopped dreams… lives…" Harry told his classmates.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor! You may thank Harry, Ron, and Hermione here for sending you into the negatives on the first day of school…"

"Go ahead, take our points away! You've taken our headmaster and this weighs nothing compared to it!" Someone yelled.

" I'd thank you for subtracting the points but I find it hard to thank someone as heartless as you…" A Slytherin shouted from across the room.

Random insults were being thrown at Snape now, and he stared at the door as if he heard nothing.

"MURDERER!" was shouted from the back of the room, and Snape jumped as if awoken from a trance.

"I had to do it... He murmured. "It wasn't my decision… I HAD NO CHOICE!"

Hermione watched as Snape struggled at the front of the room, and without realizing it, stood up.

"SHUT UP!" She screamed, looking around the room. People looked at her to see who she was yelling at, and opened their mouths in protest. "SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTHS! Yes… we all know- Snape killed Dumbledore… but you know what? Snape's back now! He's back and McGonagall and the school board wouldn't allow him to be here if he didn't have an excuse for killing Dumbledore! Now if you're all done being so immature I'd like to learn some defense against the dark arts." Hermione sat down in her seat and ignored the looks people gave her.

" Miss Granger…" Came an unwanted voice from the front of the class. "I do not need a student to explain what I have done or to defend me. You might think you're special. I bet you think you're so intelligent and pretty and clever… but you're not. You are a nobody and will be treated so." He then turned to the now quiet class to say, "Open your books to the chapter on Wandless Magic."

But Hermione didn't hear him; she was off dashing down the hall again- this time with her mind wrapped around the word "Nobody".

…

"I know I shouldn't even think about the foul load of crap that comes out of his mouth… but I can't help it and it hurts!" Hermione said in a rather high voice. She accepted a tissue from Ron and blew her nose.

They were sitting on the floor of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom (Myrtle was nowhere to be found, thankfully), Ron handing Hermione tissue after tissue. Suddenly, Hermione began to laugh. It was an awkward laugh- in a peal of laughter, sniff, second peal of laughter sort of pattern. Ron stared at her quizzically, and Hermione shook her head.

Calming down, she told him, "I haven't cried so hard since Dumbledore's funeral…"

Ron frowned slightly, but smiled all the same. "And how is that funny?"

"I have no idea!" She shouted, and threw her head back in yet another fit of giggles.

Holding her chin, Ron kissed her. Hermione closed her eyes, and kissed him back. She tried to put her feelings for Ron into the kiss, but found that she couldn't. Hermione pulled away abruptly, and bent over her lap from laughing so hard.

Watching her, Ron joined in the laughter, shaking his head and wondering what was up with Hermione…

…

Hermione, Ron, and Harry entered the Great Hall at lunch in a very emotional state- Hermione was ecstatic for no reason yet sad for what _should_ be no reason, Ron was in awe of his love for Hermione, and Harry was questioning the sanity of his best friends. Somehow, these three friends manage to exist quite nicely together… as usual…

"Hermione…" Ron started, looking at Hermione who was busy piling food on her plate.

"Hmm?" _Potatoes… some veggies… whatever that stuff is… some more of that stuff…_

"Hermione…" He repeated.

"Yeah?" _What is that stuff? Is that cheese on it? Ooh I'll get some more of that…_

"Hermione!" He nearly shouted.

"What?" She _did_ shout.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go to Hogsmede with me?" He was more than slightly pink.

"I _always_ go with you…" Hermione pointed out. _I could be eating right now… I haven't eaten since the train ride yesterday…_

Harry hit his head on the table and said between thumps, "You- two- are- so- _weird!_" Hermione stared at him through out his self-mutilation and as he told her, "He's asking you out on a _date_."

"Oh…" And she turned around to let him bruise his forehead in peace. She watched Ron turn from 'more than slightly pink' to just plain scarlet. She smiled and accepted, then took Ron and kissed him on the forehead (though Harry's was definitely in more pain than Ron's).

Harry let out some oddly loud laughter as if he had heard the authoress' latest comment. Hermione smiled and kissed Harry's forehead. Suddenly Hermione shivered. She had the strangest feeling that someone was watching her. She turned around, and immediately met eyes with Snape. Promptly every worthless feeling flooded back in. Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn't look away and neither did he.

"Hermione, you're one of a kind," said Neville, who had apparently witnessed the whole forehead-kissing incident. Hermione turned and nodded, wiping at her tears.

Neville spotted her tears and frowned, asking Harry in a culpable whisper, "Was it something I said?"


	3. Tay

AN: Reviews, please!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! This fic is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents (not being works of JKR) are the product of my imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. D

**Chapter 3: Tay**

If Hermione had woken up too late the day before, than today she was surely up to early. She glanced at her watch and sighed. It was only six am; nobody would be up for another hour or so, when she usually got up.

She got dressed and made up her face and hair, and decided to take a stroll around the grounds before it got too hot. By the time Hermione reached the beech tree, there was hardly a depressing thought in her head. Sure, she still remembered dear old Sevvy's words to her, and yet they didn't seem to matter as much to her as they had before. She had shoved them to the back of her mind where she could forget about them and leave them to rot like leftovers at the back of the fridge.

The sun beat against her neck, warm enough to be inviting, but not yet hot enough to make her sweat. She sat down under the tree, watching the giant squid lounge about on the surface of the lake.

Hermione was envious of the giant squid. All day every day he got to chose what he wanted to do. "I bet you don't even know what conflict means, do you, Squiddy?" She asked him, obviously not expecting him to reply.

This was why she jumped when a nearby voice answered, "Conflict is war. It's the clash of ideas. Divergence…"

Hermione looked up to find the owner of the voice, and spotted a girl around her age, with dark brown hair that she held up in a messy bun. She wore little makeup, just enough to emphasize the copper flecks in her cinnamon eyes. Her cheeks had a natural rosy look to them, and her pale pink lips were smiling.

"I'm Taylor! Taylor Green. And you are…?"

"Hermione Granger, Gryffindor 7th year! I'd say you're a Ravenclaw- am I correct?" Hermione smiled back and stood up so that she wouldn't have to look up to see Taylor. She now saw that Taylor was the same height as her.

Taylor smirked. "How'd you guess?"

"I think memorizing bits of the dictionary qualifies you as a Ravenclaw." Hermione said jokingly.

Taylor laughed. "I'm a 7th year too! Why haven't I ever seen you around school?"

Hermione shrugged. "Ravenclaws and Gryffindors are hardly ever in the same classes…"

"Yeah… I guess it is sort of difficult to run into one person when there are hundreds of other around you… roaming seven floors worth of corridors and classrooms!"

The conversation was interrupted by the growl of Hermione's stomach. She blushed slightly. "Erm… apparently it's breakfast time…" She muttered.

Taylor smiled sympathetically. "I feel your pain. I haven't eaten in nearly an hour!"

Hermione chuckled, and started towards the castle beside Taylor.

…

The next day, Hermione was brooding over her breakfast when plop a folded piece of parchment fell in her porridge. She picked up the soggy paper and dried it with a wave of her wand. Unfolding the note, she saw that it was from Taylor. She hadn't known the girl long, but bold letters at the head of the page read "To Hermione, From Taylor"

She proceeded to look at the rest of the note. It read,

Hello Hermy,

How has your morning been so far? Full of males, I can see. That Ron Weasley talks to you almost constantly. And when he's not talking to you, he's looking! Drinking it all in, it looks like! Poor bloke… you'd be better off with him than the other person staring at you, though. A Mr. Severus Snape had better keep his hands off you or he'll have hell to pay with the school bored. You may be of age, but after the disaster of Dumbledore's death, he won't get much trust- no matter what was said at the hearing!

_Much sugary sweet syrup,_

_Tay_

Hermione turned around in her seat to find "Tay" in the seat behind hers at Ravenclaw table. Tay felt her gaze and turned around to Hermione.

"Hermy?" Hermione/ Hermy asked.

"Well you can't very well expect my to call you 'Hermione' all the day long! I don't even use my full name and it's only two syllables long!" Tay exclaimed with a sarcastically frustrated grin.

Hermione rolled her eyes and smiled back, if not somewhat weakly. Her eyes flickered for a moment to the staff table, where sure enough, she locked eyes with Snape. Before she could register the look he gave her, she looked back at Tay, not wanting to see that cruel look of superiority.

A thought jumped to the front of her mind as she thought of the note again. "Say… what do you know about Sevvy here and his trial?"

"Not much… I know that he was questioned under veritasurem and confessed that Dumbledore had told him earlier that if a situation like that arose, Snape was to kill him and continue playing spy for the light side… He's under loads of protection just being here!"

"Then why is he here? Oh… the supposed curse on the DADA position! I guess it would look good for the school, if a professor taught DADA two years in a row… and I bet no one else would do it!" Hermione said in a whisper.

Tay nodded, and then motioned that Snape was still watching them. Hermione turned to her now cold porridge, only to be tapped on the shoulder. "What is it NOW?" She hissed, turning around in her seat. A frightened second year handed her a folded piece of parchment roughly the size of the one given to her by Tay.

The boy stared at her, frightened into silence, until he turned around and ran away before she could ask him anything. Hermione unfolded the paper and groaned audibly, hoping that Snape had heard.

"What is it?" Ron asked. He pulled the note closer to him, and read aloud, "'Granger, meet me in my office Friday, 7pm. Don't be late, Professor Snape?' What? Is it a detention?"

"I don't think so. I think it's a meeting to discuss my punishment." She said grimly.

"Punishment? For what?" Harry asked, obviously ready to rant about Snape.

"For embarrassing him I suppose. I stood up for him and I'm only just of age! And then I ran out of his class, which I guess could count as ditching. And I arrived late in the first place. He'll find something to punish me for, no matter what the circumstances are…"

"But you stood up for him! You stopped people from insulting him like he deserves. You ran out of his class because he was cruel and offensive. And _you weren't late_." Ron demanded.

Hermione smirked. "Thanks for the support, but I think I'll be okay." Inside, her head was screaming, "Don't let him near you! He'll hurt you again!"

There was little to be done, though, as Friday night came around.


	4. Apologies

**AN: Sorry for the wait and the shortness of this chapter:S**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it!**

** Chapter 4: Apologies  
**

Hermione refused to dress up for Snape that night, and as it was after dinner and after classes, she decided to go in her pajamas.

Her slippers made a _shhhh_ing sound on the tile, and she didn't bother lifting her feet very high when she walked. Hermione's very large blue flannel pajama bottoms, borrowed from either Harry or Ron, she couldn't remember, almost completely covered her slippers, and a plain, white tank top kept her arms cool in the inert air.

Hermione passed the house hourglasses as she went, and saw that Gryffindor was in last place, with –75 points. She grimaced, and continued, knocking on his door at exactly seven. Snape opened the door silently.

He took a seat behind his desk and motioned that she sit down in the large chair in front of him. Hermione sat down, bringing her feet up so that one knee rested on the arm of the chair, the other was upright, and Hermione rested her chin on it.

She could have sworn Snape opened his eyes widely for a second, but she blinked and he was his dull self once again.

They sat silently for a while, Hermione trying to keep her mind blank and show no emotion. A fly was buzzing monotonously in the corner. _Stupid fly. _

Hermione turned her attention to Snape, who was writing on a piece of parchment. She could care less what it said.

The fly droned on, taunting her.

Hermione let out her breath in a huff and silenced the fly with a minute wave with her wand. Tucking it back into her pocket, Snape seemed to come to life… or as much life as he usually has.

"I called you here with a purpose. I'd like to apologize." He said this calmly, as if it was a normal thing for him to do.

Hermione didn't bother to stifle her shock. She even over exaggerated a little. Her jaw dropped, and then she covered her now open mouth with a hand, as if to hide a smile. Hermione let her upright knee fall, so that she was sitting cross-legged, and hung her head, her shoulders shaking as tried to keep herself from laughing. When she could contain herself, she brought her knees to her chest and looked up, but she was not quite looking at him.

"Sorry… I just never…" She started.

"Never what? Expected me to understand that I was wrong? I am no monster, Miss Granger, and I know when I have done wrong."

"Oh but do you know _what_ you did wrong?" Hermione asked, and Snape looked almost surprised for a moment, but in a flash it was gone.

"Yes. You stood up for me and I insulted you in return when I should have thanked you."

Hermione nodded gravely and slowly, still not looking directly at Snape.

"I'd like to repay you. A thank you, for standing up for me." This incredible comment was greeted with silence, so he continued. "I have decided not to punish you."

Hermione looked at him at that. "Punish me?"

"For being late, cussing, participating in classroom disorder, and ditching the second half of class."

Hermione frowned for a moment, and then shook her head. "I will take the punishment."

Snape shook his head also, "No, you don't understand. This is two months worth of detentions."

"Yes, actually, I do understand. I broke school rules and I will take the consequence for it." She said quite calmly. Hermione could see that he really was sorry, and added, "But I do accept your apology."

"Very well then. Detention starts tomorrow at this time. I haven't decided on what you will be doing, so meet me here and I'll tell you then." Hermione nodded her understanding, and got up to leave. Snape watched her rise silently, observing her through obsidian black eyes. Suddenly he blinked, as if waking from a trance, and said hastily, "Good Night"

"'Night" she said, and walked out the door, her slippers now a little quieter on the rough stone floors of the dungeons. Right before the door shut she could have sworn she saw Snape shake his head quickly, as if to shake a thought right out of his head.

Harry and Ron were waiting for her in the common room when she crawled through the portrait hole. She sighed exhaustedly and sat next to Ron on the couch, facing Harry.

"So… How'd it go?" Harry asked.

Hermione opened her mouth to tell the truth, but found that it stuck in her throat. She shook her head.

"I've got detention for the next two months." She said resignedly.

"What! Every day? But you didn't do anything wrong!" Ron shouted, infuriated. Harry sat frowning deeply, but didn't say anything.

"No, not every day. Every Saturday I'm sure. That's only 8 detentions, for being late, cussing, participating in classroom disorder, and ditching the second half of class." She recited, quoting Snape.

Again Ron cried out as if he were the one being punished. "But that's bull shit! He should be apologizing to you, not punishing you!"

Hermione laughed, oddly loud. "Does Snape seem like the apologizing type?"

Ron and Harry laughed, too, and Hermione let out a huge, fake yawn. "Well, time for me to hit the sack! Good Night, Harry, Ron!" She cried as she dashed over to the staircase to her dormitory.

Ron frowned. "'Night 'Mione".

Hermione shut the door behind her, thankful that the other girls were still out and about.

She drew the curtains around her bed, throwing the small space into darkness. Hermione smiled, and thought about everything and anything until she fell asleep.


	5. Running Away

AN: As Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows has finally released, my story is officially non-canon. I now claim "AU" and hope my readers will forgive my absence and continue to read… There's more to come- I promise!

**Disclaimer: I'll give you one guess as to who does NOT own Harry Potter OR the song "Wild Horses" by Natasha Bedingfield (**_**the lyrics of which are at the end of the chapter to help explain what Hermione is going through, without admitting it to herself**_**). Come on… guess!? That's right- ME!**

**Chapter 5: Running Away**

The next morning Hermione awoke at her usual time, even though there were no classes that day. The sun was streaming through her window, and Hermione toyed with the idea of finding Tay. A walk sounded superb, and doubtlessly, Ron and Harry would still be asleep.

She opened her trunk, examining the clothes inside. She settled on a low-cut light yellow sundress, happy that today she could leave her slightly-depressing looking black robes in the trunk. Happy for no reason that she could explain, Hermione ran a brush through her long wavy hair. She left it down today, glad that her light brown hair had gotten rid of the bushy look since she'd hit puberty.

After applying minimal make-up, Hermione strode out into the great hall to eat some breakfast, and maybe find Tay. And sure enough, there was Tay, sitting at her usual spot at Ravenclaw table, a pile of food in front of her. Hermione smiled, and sat down next to her, not caring that she wasn't a Ravenclaw.

"Hey!" Tay said, scooting over so Hermione had more room. "Nice dress!"

Hermione reached across the table to grab the pitcher of orange juice, and examined the room from this angle. Facing the head table, she was surprised to find that Snape was staring at her yet again. "Thanks," She murmured, still watching Snape.

Tay saw what was going on between Hermione and Snape, and laughed. "What's with all the staring and watching? It's like… all you ever do at meals. Stare and get stared at."

Hermione laughed, knowing it was true. She wouldn't admit- not willingly, at least- that she liked being stared at. Not by Snape _alone _necessarily… but still. She liked attention.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Hermione asked, changing the subject.

Tay shrugged. "Whatever. We can figure it out later." Suddenly she sat up, ramrod straight, practically throwing her fried egg, bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich on her plate. "Let's go for a walk. As in, right now."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Sure, but why now?"

Shrugging again, this time more hastily, Tay asked, "Why not?"

Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder. She knew who it was even before she looked up. Rolling her eyes, Hermione absurdly struggled not to smile.

"Miss Granger I'm going to have to ask you to move to Gryffindor table, or leave the Great Hall." He kept his voice low, and quiet.

Hermione looked up at him from her seat. "Is there any particular reason why _you_ came to move me rather than Gryffindor's head, or Ravenclaw's?"

He crossed his arms. "Is there any particular reason why _you_, Head Girl of Gryffindor house, are sitting at Ravenclaw's table?"

Hermione rather uncharacteristically felt herself about to giggle as she bent her head over her lap. Just the thought of giggling helped her contain herself. Slightly disturbed at herself, she looked up at him again, her mouth cocked in a half-smile. "Why not?"

Snape cleared his throat slightly, obviously taken slightly aback by Hermione's behavior. "Because –as Head Girl- you must set an example to your fellow students at all times. That includes weekend mornings."

Hermione rolled her eyes again, not bothering to hide her annoyance with her professor. Tay stifled a laugh beside her- only managing to keep a straight face after Hermione shot her an irritated look.

"Miss Granger. Please, at least _try_ to act your age, for once." He was watching her with an odd look in his eyes, confusing Hermione. She sensed that he was speaking of more than her currently immature behavior, but, annoyed even further, she said nothing of it.

Instead she turned herself on the bench, so that if she looked straight ahead she was face-to-bellybutton with Snape. Hermione looked up into pale face and sighed, aggravated. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Sir. But don't worry, I'm off to set those good examples you were talking about. C'mon Tay, lets go show the students of Hogwarts the benefits of exercise and fresh air by taking a walk."

Hermione moved to stand up but found herself blocked by Snape's black-cloaked body. Agitated, she slid a bit down the bench to stand up but Snape moved and blocked her yet again. Hermione glared at him. "Out of my way, please."

Snape's lips seemed to twitch in an almost-smile but the next second it was gone. "Herm- Miss Granger, may I please have a word with you, alone?"

She nodded once, and then followed Snape out of the Great Hall, signaling for Tay to wait for her. Hermione soon found herself sitting on the edge of a professor's desk in an empty classroom, watching Snape close the door quietly. She suddenly wished that she were in more comfortable clothes: a t-shirt and jeans, perhaps… or better yet, her soft, cozy pajamas. Swinging her legs idly, Hermione waited for Snape to start the "talk" they so desperately needed to have.

Snape leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, facing Hermione. "Miss Granger," He started.

"Professor Snape," She returned, not sure where this was going, or if this was even going anywhere. Merlin's pants, she didn't even know what "this" was.

"Miss Granger," He repeated, "I'm afraid I don't quite understand your behavior."

Hermione frowned. Her legs stopped swinging. "What behavior." It wasn't a question.

Snape uncrossed his arms and approached Hermione. "All of it!" He began to pace in front of her, gesturing with his hands as he talked. "You defended me, stood up for me in front of your best friends- both of whom are convinced that I deserve to die a long, painful death- and accepted my apology the evening I gave it, even demanded that you be punished for your actions, all of which were perfectly excusable. But then today you go and abuse my authority, embarrassing me in front of other students. I desperately need every ounce of respect from these students if I'm going to continue on as a teacher here. And trust me, I don't plan on resigning anytime soon. This job is my life- literally. I lose this job, and the Dark Lord… You don't understand. You don't know what it's like. Any wrong step could be the step into my noose. I can't handle this and that and everything in between anymore. At one point I could, but I just… I just can't anymore. You don't understand. I can't expect you to, and-" Snape suddenly stopped pacing and talking and took a step towards Hermione, his eyes pleading in a desperate way that made her shiver. "What I meant to say was… you confused me when you helped me one day, but shortly after hurt me." Snape pressed his forehead with the palms his hands, the picture of a man under greater stress than he could handle.

Hermione hopped off the desk, not thinking, following instinct. "Professor Snape… Severus…" She placed her hands on his arms, holding onto him gently, but firmly. He looked down at her, his face blank, his eyes showing his worry, softened now. "I'm sorry" she whispered with sincerity. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it. He shut his eyes, doing what, Hermione didn't know. Instinct told her what to do, and Hermione followed suit, trusting it with a blind faith that Dumbledore would have been proud of. She wrapped her arms around him. Hermione hugged Severus Snape.

She didn't think about his cruelty to her for these past six years, or about what Harry or Ron or even Tay would say if they knew what she was doing. She was thinking about Severus, worried that if he lost his job he might lose his life, always scared that a wrong move might put him in Lord Voldemort's disfavor- a place he _could not_ be. She thought of Severus Snape, his secrets, his pain, and then his hair, as he had set his head on hers, his hair falling into her face. And then his voice, as he whispered "Thank you."

And then it all became too real for Hermione. She tensed up, stepping away from Snape as her brain turned back on and kicked all instinctual matters out the window. "I-I'm sorry. I have to go now. I'll- I'll see you in detention." She said this hurriedly, and then ran out of the room before she could see the look on his face, and hopefully before he could see hers.

Hermione was scared.

…

An hour and a half later and a knock Hermione's dormitory door interrupted the very important business Hermione had had to ditch Snape for. "_What do you want?_" She snapped, unable to help it. She had changed into her pajamas the moment she stepped through the door on her way in, and she wasn't in the mood for visitors.

"A Big Mac and a large fry," Tay said sarcastically through the door. "What do you think I want? Open the door!"

Hermione opened the door with a flick of her wand, her eyes not leaving the movie playing on the screen conjured specifically for moments of extreme self-pity. Hermione was watching The Notebook, accompanied of course by a rather large box of tissues. She wasn't sure how Tay had managed to get into Gryffindor Tower, let alone with a large and suspicious looking covered-tray.

Tay seemed to read Hermione's mind and answered her question before she could ask it. "Harry let me in through the portrait hole after he saw you sprinting into your dorm. I decided that if you were going to make this room your hidey-hole I might as well help you with the provisions." She climbed (jumped, rather) into the bed with Hermione, bringing the tray with her. "Okay. I brought chocolate donuts, chocolate milk, chocolate pudding, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, Honeydukes chocolate, chocolate brownies, and of course myself, your chocolate-obsessed company." She gave Hermione a small smile, which Hermione half-heartedly returned.

"I'm not coming out right now," She said, and Tay shook her head.

"I'm not asking you to."

She set the tray between them on the bed, helping Hermione close the curtains around them. "I love this movie…"

Right then on the screen, the main characters, Allie and Noah, were floating along a river on a small row boat. A thousand birds surrounded them as the once-lovers laughed and talked with each other, feeding the glorious white birds that covered the water and made it look like an enormous cloud carrying the boat along the river. And then it starts to rain, and they are so happy together, laughing in the rain, they almost forget that she has a boyfriend, until the moment ends and they yell and scream, trying to resolve that conflict, to get rid of those years filled with mistakes, so they can forget about it and kiss passionately in the rain, the way Hermione knows the lovers will, once they learn to live and let go, all the while holding tight to each other…

Hermione pretended not to cry as she watched Ally and Noah's lives played out for the bajillionth time, knowing how it will end, but all the while wondering… what if the story had ended differently? What if Ally had chosen to leave Noah behind, going back to her much more practical boyfriend? What if she chose safety over passion?

When the movie ended and the credits started to roll, Hermione ate another spoonful of ice cream, and, looking at her spoon, told the room rather matter-of-factly, "I hugged Severus today. Professor Snape, I mean."

Tay didn't say anything. It was obvious that Hermione thought she had made a colossal confession. Hermione looked at her to find Tay giving her a blank stare. "That's it? That's why you ran away from Snape like he had the plague?"

Hermione blushed deeply. "I guess I did kind of over-react. But honestly! He was pouring his guts out to me, and he felt so awful, and I didn't think, I just did it."

Tay blinked twice, trying to comprehend. "This shouldn't be a big deal. This, of course, is what makes it such a big deal..."

Now it was Hermione's turn to try to understand. "What do you-"

"I mean that if you had hugged Snape and thought nothing of it, it wouldn't be such a big deal. But well, you're acting like you raped the poor guy. So obviously it _was_ a big deal for you to hug him."

Hermione shook her head, still not understanding.

Tay gave a half smile, putting her hand on Hermione's head, as if trying to place whatever Hermione wasn't understanding in there for safe keeping. She sighed softly, then said bluntly "You've got feelings for Snape."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up like rockets, hiding out in her hair, which, thanks to Tay, was now a frizzy mess. "I do not! He's a grown man, _and_ a Death Eater. Not to mention a total head case… He insulted me in the middle of DADA after I had defended him, and _then _guess what he did! Go on, guess!"

Tay shrugged, "asked you not to sit at Ravenclaw table?"

Hermione's eye brows crash landed back onto her forehead, sinking her face into a frown. "No! Well, yeah, but not yet. No, he _then_ apologized to me! What a nutter! I can't believe I hugged him."

Tay remained silent, although Hermione hardly noticed, as she continued to rant. "You know what? I think I'm going to go down to the library and make sure that Wizard Insanity isn't contagious, and then I have to go to detention pretty soon…"

Tay grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving as she said, "Hermione it's one o'clock in the afternoon, you've got six hours, and I can tell you now that insanity isn't contagious, not ever- you even knew that." Hermione blushed scarlet.

"Hermione, please, just stop running away and hiding… I don't want to see you get hurt."

Hermione was baffled. "I do not have feelings for Snape. And even if I did, I wouldn't go around snogging him or anything. That's just… that's just ludicrous. And I don't, anyway. Having feelings for him, I mean."

Tay pressed her lips tightly together and nodded. "Yeah… you just keep telling yourself that." And with a wink, Tay left Hermione alone to think for herself.

And what did Hermione do? Did she have an enormous breakthrough, finally seeing where her heart lay? Did she decide it was time for Tay to quit getting involved? Did she watch the Notebook again and permanently ruin her complexion with the mound of chocolate now sitting in her stomach?

Of course not, this is Hermione we are talking about. Hermione curled up in bed with her Ancient Runes book, spending the evening avoiding all unpleasant thoughts. If Hermione had known just how much more unpleasant those thoughts could be if left out to spoil, she might not have ignored them. She might have listened to Tay, and stopped running away… but Hermione did not know, and so she spent the afternoon alone, studying Ancient Runes in the safety of her dorm room.

…

Wild Horses, Natasha Bedingfield.

_I feel these four walls closing in  
Face up against the glass  
I'm looking out, hmmm  
Is this my life I'm wondering  
It happened so fast  
How do I turn this thing around  
Is this the bed I chose to make  
There's greener pastures I'm thinking about  
Hmm, wide open spaces far away_

All I want is the wind in my hair  
To face the fear but not feel scared

wild horses I wanna be like you  
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to  
I wanna run with the wild horses  
Run with the wild horses, oh

whoahh Yeah, oh oh, ye-yeah

I see the girl I wanna be  
Riding bare-back, care-free  
Along the shore  
If only that someone was me  
Jumping head-first, head-long  
Without a thought  
To act and damn the consequence  
How I wish it could be that easy  
But fear surrounds me like a fence  
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair  
To face the fear, but not feel scared

Oooh, wild horses I wanna be like you  
Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to  
I wanna run with the wild horses  
Run with the wild horses, oh

I wanna run too.  
ohhh ohhh

recklessly abandoning me my self before you

I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel

Wild horses I wanna be like you  
Throwing caution to the wind  
I'll run free too  
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing too  
I wanna run with the wild horses,  
run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses

ohh woah ohh woah  
Yeeaaaah

I wanna run with the wild horses


End file.
